I realize that i am quite the inconsistent one. Sometimes i blog of not giving up, of persevering till the end; but sometimes i, too, blog of oneness -- in which it is okay to be yourself, to live in every now moment, to be happy, to not try so hard. What, then, am i trying to say?
I suppose that as much as this blog is about you, it is also very much about me :) i enjoy living in every Now moment. I have dreams to chase. I love the thrill of chasing dreams. Therefore, to be happy, i try too hard while enjoying every moment of it. And that all applies to me. It is important to know that this varies with each person, so what can i say but that it all boils down to this core point -- that ultimately, your happiness and contentment is paramount. Do what feels right, because if you do, everything will be okay in the end.
Have trust.
Yesterday, i got a letter that completely altered my track of thoughts and plans, simply because i was not expecting it. In less than two days time, i will be called to a place where there is absolutely no internet connection, and cell phones are only allowed during the weekends. I will be in this place for more than two months, with no Facebook, no Twitter, no MSN or Skype, no familiar bathroom or bed or friends. My first instinct was to rebel, to go against this. I don't want to go.
Then i realized that i was resisting it -- the flow of life. I love the ways of my life so much, and i have gotten very much used to the warm comfort that familiarity brings me, which only served to enforce my unwillingness to step out off my comfort zone and see what new things this letter has to offer me. In holding on so tightly to the easy ways of my life, i was closing myself off from a whole new world of possibilities. When i shut my eyes, turn my back, and shout no without a second thought, what else am i saying no to? New friends? New interests? New perspectives? New passions? New opportunities?
When i finally realized all of this, i allowed myself to let go. I let myself go with the flow. I will go where time brings me. I will take what life gives to me. I mean, who knows right? Why not, anyway?
If you should catch yourself saying no to something on impulse, perhaps it is time to reconsider. Think about it. What are you resisting? Why are you resisting? And most importantly, in saying no, what else are you REALLY saying no to?
I would not waste my life in friction when it could be turned into momentum.
~Frances Willard
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