Gratitude Journal : For life that keeps on going

Gooood morning, people!

I'm back for good this time :) actually, i've been back for almost a week, but slipped into a nasty procrastination phase regarding this blog. Sorry :C (i'm hoping that) this post will kickstart the resurrection of this blog to regular posts, as i can feel myself needing that positivity buzz again.

So what's been happening while i was away? Lots, apparently. So many events, environmental and otherwise. And much has been happening within myself too, sometimes creating the illusion of conflict and unrest in my soul -- but all is well. Us living our lives is like a process unfolding itself, and everything that happens is all part of the process, anyway -- and what an amazing process this is.

In the past one and a half months i have found myself caught in one too many unpleasant situations that caused me much frustration. More often than not i questioned myself and let doubt take over my thoughts. Why am i here? Beyond that, i even started believing this self-doubt and began drawing out my own conclusions -- this is such a waste of time; there's no point to all of this! I hate it here... and then all these negative thoughts festered into something else that made me so miserable....

....until i realized that i was just resisting -- and in resisting, i was making myself unhappy and blind to the beauty of what was around me. And that is the most important thing that i have learnt thus far -- that it is crucial for us to learn to adapt to the situation that we are put in so that we can move on past what we think we see to what really is - that every moment is perfect, and nothing is ever really pointless, and that we just have to trust.

I have so much to blog about -- about National Service and camp, and the airplanes that roam the Paya Indah skies, and the bonds that are created there, and the incredible highs and lows (that i experienced). But for now i simply resolve to relax. And slow down. And stop chewing so fast, or making rash decisions, or run through my day like there's no tomorrow. In fact, i challenge myself to slow down, as that's what it's turning out to be. I become antsy and nervous and insecure should i find myself with too much free time on my hands, and that ain't right. Like a friend at camp said, you're only 18 this year, what is 3 more weeks of your life anyway?

And that applies to you, even if you're 25, or 35, or 45, or 55. You're still young, believe me. Slow down, and enjoy the moments. Live. Listen. I wish i had, when that friend dispensed that particular piece of advise to me at the time.

Stay amazing you all, till the next post :)

Gratitude Journal : Everything's going to be Fine

One week and five days ago, the core on which i had placed of all my dreams came apart at the seams, and it was, by far, the worst emotion i have ever had to experience. But within hours i was healing, and within days i had bounced back. A little deflated yes, but bounce back i did.

The reality of everything came tumbling down, and as with some people who are forced to be realistic, i so very nearly lost hope and gave up. I was on the edge, i was.

But hope, you see, is such an amazing thing. And so impossibly lucky am i, that in this exact Now moment, i have Hope.

First i must clarify that it is important to know when to let go, but it is even more important to know when to hold on, and when to not give up. Perhaps by the definitions of other people i am being "foolish", but i follow my heart, and i cannot deny that my heart is foolish ;)

The past few days of mine have been absolutely swamped by colleges and courses and scholarships, that i am probably this close to losing it  -- but then there's Love Inspiring Tricia to bring me back to speed, reminding me to breathe, and to relax, and that everything is going to be all right.

And even without this Hope, everything will be fine. Because on this journey that we're all in together, if it isn't fine, then it isn't over. So throw a handstand. Dance a jig. Run around naked. Because it's never too late, and you're here now, and the world is yours to take. Absolutely.

Gratitude Journal : Self-awareness

Goooooooood morning, amazing people!

(source)

Of late i have come to view life with a sort of optimism. I was telling a friend how things always fall into place, and he responded, "I envy you. The youth's hope." which made me feel rather sad, for is hope something that we only carry when we are young? As we grow older, do we stop believing that we can save the world? Do we slowly begin to not even bother to try?

When we 'grow up', and we see with our own eyes how ugly the world and it's people can sometimes be, can we not avoid becoming jaded? And in that case, is that not faith's call to action? For faith is the daring of the soul to go farther than it can see -- William Newton Clarke said that.

I admit i am rather naive. I have never had a firsthand encounter with the ugly part of human nature, which is probably why my naivety continues to survive. After all, i am only 17 years old. What of the world have i seen? Despite this, i continue to believe, albeit stubbornly, that i will not lose this optimism.

Perhaps believe is the wrong word. Perhaps resolve would be a better word.

I will not stop believing in the goodness of human nature.

I will not lose faith in the ways of the world.

Today, i am grateful for this hope that twists in my tummy and alights in my soul. I am grateful that i have learnt to be happy despite unchanging external conditions.

Today, i am grateful for all the mistakes that i have made, and the opportunities that i have missed, because they have all been screwed up perfectly. This now moment that you're living in right now is the only one that you know you have for sure, so pick up all your "should have"s and "if only"s, throw 'em OUT, and just enjoy the ride.

(source)
Thank you.

Finally, I am grateful for my understanding of all that I have mentioned above.

Gratitude Journal : Loving Melbourne

So i landed in Melbourne on Friday afternoon. Prior to our departure from KL, all we had been hearing of the weather here was how ridiculously hot it was, even at night. As awesome as Awesome goes, however, a great thunderstorm hit on Thursday, and on Friday, it was 21 degrees C!

I love the weather right now. My brothers and i find it a tad bit too chilly, but everyone else just walks around in their dresses and shorts and tube tops enjoying it, because the weather right now is perfect. Can you imagine -- we're already feeling cold when it's 20 degrees, whereas during winter it could drop to as low as 0 degrees!

This is only our third day here, but we have had the amazing fortune to have met a few locals who took us to the city today :) so not only have we made new friends, we also had a few of the funniest tour guides show us around.

The best mindset to put into use is one of a tourist. I constantly find myself amused or intrigued by everything around me, from the random structures i come across in the city, to the street names and the people and performers they carry, to the road signs. I just love looking at each of the buildings and houses here, all so incredibly quaint. Absolute love! We should never let ourselves slide into a blindness that prevents us from seeing the beauty in everything around us.

~You have to ask children and birds how cherries and strawberries taste.~
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Always stay fresh, lovely people ♥

P.S : I almost forgot! Happy Chinese New Year, and Happy Valentine's!